


What is Love?

by Alliekohai2128



Series: Miraculous Scenarios [16]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:53:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24092389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alliekohai2128/pseuds/Alliekohai2128
Summary: Sometimes it takes one love to fade for another to bloom and Bri will learn that the hard way as she ventures through jealousy, misunderstanding and of course, tragedy.
Relationships: Bridgette/Félix (Miraculous Ladybug PV)
Series: Miraculous Scenarios [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/758385
Comments: 9
Kudos: 20





	1. Confession

'Is it love or is it the ideal of love'

* * *

**< Bri's POV>**

If someone asked me what love is, I would say it is when you would love someone unconditionally, despite all the challenges you faced and even with the fact that they don't like you back because even so you would love them.

*chuckles* You may think that is an unrequited love, but love is love isn't it? Whether it is returned or just left like a merry-go-around where you just go in circles and circles, endlessly chasing...

yet sometimes, no matter how much you say it is love, something worth fighting for just because you love the person isn't enough... because you love but are never loved, what is the point? Especially when you have someone that will love you, wouldn't you choose him? Because it's the logical choice, he loves you and you.. well you love another but that is a dead end and who says you can't love another or learn to. 

My breathe gets swallowed under the tension of this awkward silence; their eyes all on me and the bullets of sweat trickled down my neck as I bit my lip under the pressure of this confession from this red-head who is so sweet and shy yet he is able to muster this much courage to ask me out in front of the class, with his head bowed and I can't see but he is sweating profusely too and gritting his teeth, knowing well of the risk of embarrassment he would have to endure for months if he is rejected but he fully knows well of this risk because of my constant endeavors in trying to confess to Felix. 

Even Felix stood there, near the door and he stared for a while at the spectacle. 

_Annoyance ,_ that was what he probably thought of me and I gulped, my mind spinning in a trail of thoughts and this pressure I-

In an instant, I grabbed Nathaniel's hand and bolted to the door with him as I brush past Felix and into the empty gym locker room.

* * *

**< Nathaniel's POV>**

I knew. I knew she was in love with Felix, but I couldn't give up on the love I feel for Bridgette because as much as I tried to suppress it, the more it grew and I couldn't just wait anymore. Seeing her, everyday in her usual dar blue pigtails and how the strand of her hair just stands out and up about, especially every time he was around and my heart sinks deeper and throbs because I see her following him like a puppy and he just brushes her off, he denies her love in such an obvious matter but Bridgette doesn't stop. 

That's the kind of girl Bri is, the kind who will never give up on you and will always try to help cheer you up no matter what and will go to the full extent in making you happy. She also will always notice the good in people and the sincerity when she notices the talents and especially when she awed at my heart with such sparkling cerulean blue eyes and my heart thumped.

I remember.. the first day I fell in love with her.. as if it was just a dream that came true.

Paris breeze was as usual and calm, the day shone so bright but not as bright as her smile as she crept next to me while I was alone in the room, I was so indulged in the swift of the brush as it floats above the paper and leave strokes of blue, pink and colors that swirled and mixed, melted into each other and blended so well that they fit one another, like a puzzle piece that fits. 

'Nathaniel! That's beautiful'

I jolted at the screeched and gasped of sincere admiration of my work by a girl who I knew was nice to all and chases Felix constantly, but this is a first that she and I have met and so close to one another. Her face practically near my ear as she got a close view of the art, my spine stood still and bit my lip as I felt her breath passed through my ears and I swear I could hear her heart beating or was it mine?

I blinked my eyes away from the art and to her, her lips shaped like an 'O' and just in a state of pure amazement, and her eyes wavering from each stroke of paint as if she could imagine how from the blank canvas, with my patience and the brush danced to revealed a miraculous painting. I blushed seeing her rosy lips left open and her eyes were staring so intently into the painting, and suddenly her eyes blinked and faced the turquoise eyes of mine.

'I didn't know your eyes were turquoise, it's such a pretty color you shouldn't hide it' as her hands reaches near to my hair, and I flinched which caused her to stop and her face flushed beet red in an instant and she jumped back which caused me to jumped in my stool a bit as I could feel gravity leaving me and the stool was about to take me with him onto the ground and I saw Bri's fair hand like a knight reached out to save me and I grabbed it to be saved but I failed to realize -

CLASH!

She was as light as a feather and I was basically pulling her into the fall into something very tempting, well to me at least. The clash made us both closes our eyes as a human instinct, as the human naturally closes to the reaction of pain or a bad situation because the eyes are one of the five senses, no actually because we are scared and when we are scared, we close because we don't want to 'see' pain or death because it makes us uncomfortable.

My eyes blinked a few times, a bit of dizziness hindered my sight at first and I thought I was seeing stars and focus came in as I see dark blue in front of me, a stand tickled my nose and I blinked to make sure I wasn't dreaming as I saw Bri on top of me and I grew soft as I see her petite figure on top of - OF ME? Wait, no no this is wrong what happen if she sees, suddenly my face is cherry red as I couldn't move because she was on. top. of. me.

Suddenly Bri groans as her eyes blinked in confusion for a second before her eyes widened, staring into me, then at her hands on my chest and she jumped up and squirmed to the side and I tried to get myself up, a little bit numb from the fall and weighted down by her, but alright. I stood to see her pacing back and forth with her mind all over the place and then she finally stops and takes a breathe first

'I'm so sorry, are you alright? Are you hurt?'

I looked at her and I thought.. _Damn_

I was the one who pulled her in when I knew I was going to fall, but she checks on me first and not complain or blame me for hurting her accidentally of course instead she asked me whether I'm fine or not.

A smile escapes from my lips as so does a chuckle and then she realizes and laughs along. That was the day, I fell in love with Bridgette Dupain-Cheng

* * *

**< Bri's POV>**

_Ba-thump! Ba-thump!_

My heart racesas I tried to pace my breath and take a short break from running and also grabbing Nathaniel's arm as it probably hurts, because I just up and grabbed in and ran to the gym locker room. I just couldn't stand the eyes, I couldn't stand Felix just being there... watching and not.. bothering.

'Bri? You alright there?'

Nathaniel suddenly broke the ice by asking about me, I don't know if he's asking about my poor stamina or my emotional well-being, because frankly I am not alright on both accords.

I took a deep breath and calm down, smiled and looked at him. 'Yep, sorry I just.. you know it was awkward with everyone there' I chuckled a bit and he seemed to understand immediately.

'O-oh! Oh I'm sorry I-i shouldn't have done that there and the timing and-'

'No no it's alright Nathaniel, I was just.. caught by surprise'

'Ohh um so.. do you feel the same?' Nathaniel eyes perked up to meet mine as he bits his lips in anticipation.

A sigh escaped my lips, and it was an obvious omen to Nathaniel.

'Look, Nathaniel you're really nice and-

'I know you like Felix but please give me a chance too! Bri, I promise you I can make you happier than him! One date hm? See how that goes and then you can decide if being with me isn't what you want or possibly is well something you think you will be happy with..'

'Nat i-'

'Also, if we date, you can gradually fall in love with me and fall out of love with Felix, I'm not being obnoxious here but I'm just stating the facts or the possible facts and like really like you and I think you deserve someone who loves you back and-

'Alright!'

Suddenly Nathaniel quiets and his puppy-eyes widened with hope.

'I'll go on a date with you and we'll see from there'

* * *

'The love we want may not be the one we need'


	2. Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathaniel tries to win over Bri with a date, will he succeed or did he underestimated her love for Felix?

'Love at first sight or love that blossoms gradually?'

* * *

**< Bri's POV>**

I fell in love with Felix the moment he walked in nonchalantly, from the neatly combed Agreste blonde down to the grey eyes that matched his monotone outfit. 

_Ba-dump!_

Instantly, my lips curled into a soft smile as he greeted me with a nod and walked off. That was love at first sight.

Afterwards, my love for him only grew more and more but so does my heart falter at his rejections. Alya warned me at first when she realized my cerulean blue eyes followed him in class and as much as a supporter of love she was, but she was just as protective when she sees someone who never trusted love. Her advice was - 'to love someone who doesn't believe in love will only lead to tragedy.'

'Also, if we date, you can gradually fall in love with me and fall out of love with Felix..' those words I recalled so vividly from my conversation with Nathaniel... was it possible? To love someone else than Felix? It's certain that I would have a happier relationship with Nathaniel because he likes me, but would it be a happy relationship?

* * *

**< Nathaniel's POV>**

My jaw dropped along with my books who did much of the clatter of noise on the floor but my eyes could not be peeled off the sight before me.

As Bri walked in with her dark blue hair that trailed down to her waist and her bright red dress with black stockings, our eyes met and she instantly smiled at me, while trying to get to her seat to avoid looking at all the heads she made turn. I'm going on a date with her. The Bridgette Dupain-Cheng.

Throughout the rest of class, I couldn't wait for-

_RINGG!_

I practically pranced over to Bri's seat and did a slight bow with my hand out

'Will you accompany me for the rest of the day m'lady?'

Murmurs and gasps filled the silence as people watched from their seats while some chitter-chattered away from the scene.

Her hand gracefully placed on mine as I held it and straightened to see her lips sparkled with gloss to her vast blue eyes.

* * *

**< Narrator's POV>**

The red-headed boy was filled with enthusiasm and ecstasy while the dark blue haired masked her confusion with a smile. Any third party could see how they would fit one another; artsy and creative without a single sadness in their life. 

The two had a nice lunch at a famous restaurant that Nathaniel booked, one where he boasted on how hard it is to get reservations to the place. Bri could see how he was determined to make her fall for him, and sure she knows he is great but..

Night swept in and the two were at the park, as they laid side by side and watched the stars.

'Hey Nat, can I ask you something..?'

'Yea Bri, what is it?'

'What made you fall for me?'

Silence filled the atmosphere between them, making the air felt more breezy as it whispered the answers.

'Remember the day you.. saw me painting in the art room alone'

'Yea..'

'You came by and complimented it and after that I manage to get you to practically fall on me' a chuckle left his lips as nostalgia settled in.

Bri giggled too at the memory but she couldn't help it, 'but anyone could have complimented your work, your art is amazing'

'Yes, anyone could have complimented it but you were the only one who ever took the time to capture it's essence, it's beauty and time'

Yet again, silence filled the gap between them as Bri bit her lip and before she could say anything, Nathaniel sat up and stared at her, enough for her to look back at him and titled her head.

'What is it? Is there something on my head? Omg is it a bug? Or a leaf! Nat-'

'Bri.. I know that Felix and you.. well mainly you have the absolute hots for him, but... did you ever think that it was possible?'

'What do you mean..?'

'Have you ever thought that.. maybe it's just going to end up you only loving him and that's the end of it..'

'So you think.. that no matter how much I try.. Felix is never going to love me, is he? He probably hates me..' a chuckle of despair escapes her lips as she tries to hold back her tears.

'No.. no it isn't that hates hates you, he just... doesn't want to feel loved or give love, heck he might think Love as just a hormonal kind of chemical reaction. What i'm saying.. is Bri you should give a chance for yourself to be loved too.'

She swallows the words she wished she could say but just smiled and nod.

'Thanks.. Nat, I had a great time.' Bri stood which alarmed Nat that he said something wrong and was about to panic and apologized before-

The glossy lips touched his cheek, smooth and warmth of electricity jolted his body as he stood frozen there as she smiled and nodded good night. 

That

Was

Amazing

* * *

'Love is a risk but a miracle too'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi y'all, thank you for your comments and kudos, as well as interest in the story. I couldn't upload ch2 due to unreasonable timings last week and I'm sorry if it is short but here it is and hope you enjoy! Spoiler: Next chapter will be Felix's POV


	3. Nostalgia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bri and Nat? How does Felix feel about this, relieved? Right...?

'If Love is tragic, why love at all ? '

* * *

**< Felix's POV>**

I despise the word, love. 

Maybe it is because I was born in a household without the presence of love, with a father I barely see and even if I do, he only seeks perfection and there is no perfection with love, it is a weakness.

A distraction. 

Just like Bridgette Dupain- Cheng is to me, she is just a nuisance. I do not understand Miss Cheng's obsession with me especially when Im scorned at by most of my peers for being a perfectionist, an Agreste. 

Ever since I met her, she's been following me around with her ridiculous claims of 'love at first sight'. I am no fool but I am sure 'love' has to do with knowing the person, their skills and flaws. However, her belief was the moment she saw me, she believed it was destiny. 

*Scoffs*

Destiny? Flaws? Love? I don't believe in any of those, frankly I do not trust those because it is unreliable.

Destiny is just a term for some type of false hope of the future that you believe something good will come to you. 

Flaw is the opposite of imperfection, the enemy of Agreste. 

Love... love is an illusion, a feeling that leads to false hope and misunderstanding.

* * *

'Bri! I like you ! Please go out with me!' 

As if a soldier was addressing a general with voice loud and head bowed, like other eyes I followed in suit to watch a gossip to emerge itself. 

A red head- Nathaniel Kurtzberg. The artist and the shy sheep. 

Dark-blue ponytails that trailed down to her waist and her lips bit as her cerulean eyes paced between the red-head in front of her, the crowd and then to me.

Bridgette was being confessed. 

No doubt, he will be rejected. As much as I have hopes that Mr. Kurtzberg confession falls through and is accepted, for it will be beneficial for me because Ms. Cheng would not have time to follow me and would not dare to when she has a partner.

It would be good for her to forget me, or better to fall out of love for me. 

There is no future if she pursue this one-sided love.

Especially when I dared not try to give her much false hope. There were times I simply felt bad and it wasn't that bad to accept her gifts.

Just like how she changed my usual morning meal with coffee and a book, now I share it with her and some biscuits. I still remember the first time she tried coffee, her lips puckered and she squirmed as the bitterness overtaken her tongue as well as the heat from sipping too fast. 

*Chuckles* From then on, I would enjoy my morning coffee with the snacks she would bring and even if she was late, she would leave it in my locker.

* * *

I still remember...

**< Narrator's POV> <Flashback>**

BOOM!

The thunder roared down from the clouds as lightning strikes in the grey and gloomy clouds that wept and wept. The rain was heavy and as usual, Bridgette followed and stayed with Felix while he studied in the library.

'Ms Cheng, wake up.'

The tall leaned figure with a suit as monochrome and grey as the rainy sky stood next to the sleeping beauty that drooled the pages on the book she laid her head peacefully on. 

Bridgette wasn't one to stay awake much when reading, unless it was a fashion magazine of course. However, she was determined to be with Felix, whenever and wherever. 

A sigh escaped his lips as his hand reached to nudge her awake before -

'F-felix... I love you..... *snores*'

His hand paused in the air as she continued to sleep peacefully after that confession. He knew she loved him, she couldn't be more obvious with her crush, her love. She was the only one who ever showed him such kindness when the world seem so bleak. 

He really never understand love because he was born to be perfect, he had to learn to be perfect and take over the Agreste family business. That was all he knew, nothing else ever crossed his mind like love or friends.

He sighs again and proceeds his hand to flick her forehead which instantly wakes her

'I'm up! I wasn't sleeping at...' Bridgette looked back and forth and realized it was only Felix and her in the library.

'You should get going now Miss Cheng, and so will I.'

As he slung his bag onto his shoulder and walks off to the entrance, Bridgette rushes to put the book away and rushes off after him.

Outside, the rain poured heavily and thunder rumbled.

**<[Play this while reading for intense feels](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5oilF2qhTA)>**

"Oh shoot... it's raining and I didn't bring an umbrella...' Bridgette looked up to the grey sky and the poring rain.

It was the perfect moment, just like any romantic scene in a drama.

The guy has an umbrella, the girl doesn't and they share one and that's how they get closer.

But...

Felix isn't the type to do that, he doesn't actually like Bri that way.

Her eyes perked over to him, to his umbrella as he just watches the rain, lost in his thoughts

'It's raining...' he thought. 

'And she doesn't have an umbrella, maybe we can- no. She would get false hope from it. Maybe I can just go buy an umbrella for her, that would do it right?' his thought flowed in and he came to a decision.

The sound of an umbrella flapped open as Bridgette's eyes peaked to see if he was going to...

As Felix walked into the rain under his umbrella, his steps seemed to sound further and Bridgette pouted with a sigh.

'Of course not... what was I hoping for...' she mumbled to herself under the rain.

Suddenly, as she was about to take a step forward into the rain, a shadow covered her as she looked above and saw Felix shading her with his umbrella.

'If I went to buy an umbrella for her, she would have been gone by now' he thought.

'Just for today, I don't want her to get sick.' he looked at her cerulean blue eyes shining at him. He couldn't help but looked away, trying to act like his usual cold self. 

But underneath that facade, he smiled softly.

'Aww Felix'

'I just... do not wish to feel guilty for getting you sick'

The two walked under the rain, together and under a single umbrella.

* * *

**< Felix's POV>**

She would be happier with him instead of me. I can't give her the love she wants, nor can I ever receive the love she gives.

She will never understand, that I can't be loved nor can I actually love someone.

* * *

'Everyone has a chance at love, you just have to trust it'


	4. Yearning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We miss, we reminicse and we yearn.

'We only realize their true worth after they left'

* * *

**< Felix's POV>**

She came.

She stayed and chased.

She got hurt.

She finally left.

Laying my head against the wall, hand in hair as I grasped the stress out of the strands and-

'Felix, don't grab your hair like that! You don't want to be bald do you?'

A squeaky voice nags at me before I could and I smiled... slowly as it frowned before tears formed as I flicked my head up to the ceiling. Damn, to think of all times I would miss her the most. 

Bridgette Dupain-Cheng, she isn't good for me. No, I am not good for her. It's best that I just ignore her and she can get on with her life as well.

* * *

'Mom! Look! I caught a butterfly, can I keep it? Can I?'

A soft and sweet laughter filled the room as the air was filled brimmed with joy and sunlight, the sweeter days and the only good times.

'Felix dear, I'm sorry but you can't...' her lips settled into a soft smile 

'But whyyy???' the typical whine-like sound of a normal child, one before the trauma, before the accident.

'Felix, come here...' the fragile porcelain hand took in the small hand of the child; his hand so small compared to hers, it was as if comparing a cherry tomato with a normal tomato. The same, yet not in size.

'Felix, nothing in life comes easily, but when they do, you have to hold on to it because as easily as the come, the easier it is for them to leave. Remember this, alright? People can come and go, but those who've stayed regardless of everything are the ones, they are the ones you want to keep.'

'But mommy... if they stay, why would I need to try and keep them?'

A chuckle escapes her lips as she pats the little blonde.

'They stayed, but they can't stay forever. It takes a lot of patience and faith, but those run out of stock very slowly and when they do, you have to do everything to keep them, and you know what is that called?'

'Loyalty?'

'That is true, but not exactly...' she teased 

'Then what is it, what is it?' the little blonde hops and bounce on his mother's lap.

'It's called...'

'Love.'

I gasped with bullets of sweat that trailed down my forehead down to my chest. 

That memory haven't came in for very long, mom... was that a sign?

* * *

**< Bri's POV>**

'Bri you should give a chance for yourself to be loved too.'

Those words sucked to me like a gum on hair and I couldn't forget it, every night and every day I thought that sentence. 

So far, things with Nat has been... romantic?

That would be the word I guess... we are dating but my feelings aren't really there...

It's not that he isn't a boyfriend material but he isn't...

The one. As I thought when the tall and broody, nonchalant Felix came through the door. He walked in, hair neat and grey suit as usual. He passed me without a single glance to his usual seat. I remember the days I would wait outside his house, just to walk with him and even though he never showed it, he had a slight discomfort but he never rejected me other than the times where I actually ask him on a real date, that's different. That's what gave me hope, that I would be able to slowly metl that icy heart of his and maybe, just maybe get him to love me back. He might not really believe in love, but I can help, I can change that.

I just have to-

'morning beautiful.' a peck came along with that morning greeting and soon cheers and tease followed after as Nat took a seat beside me and smiled.

'Oh! I forgot-' As I rummage through my bag and take out a pink plastic wrapped bag with cookies inside, I used to give these to Felix but... it wouldn't make sense if I gave it to him.

'Is the for me? Thanks, love you!' he kissed my cheek again and I smiled. but I thought I saw...

No, he wouldn't look me at my way, I probably looked at it wrongly.

* * *

**< Felix's POV>**

_You cannot find peace by avoiding life. - Virginia Woolf_

These days I've been have recurring dreams of mother, the same scene. Her telling me... about Love.

I looked in the way of Bri as the red-head gives her a kiss and I see their little love blossom, my heart sank a little as I see the same gift-wrapped cookies that I used to have everyday with my morning coffee being given to him. His eyes brightens and kisses her cheek, I looked away before Bri could catch my lingering eyes.

Why was I even glancing at them? So what if she used to give me those cookies... it wasn't even nice anyway.

My hand balled into a fist as I tapped the pen on the table...

'Felix! Shh... if you tap the table, the librarian might kick us out...'

The tapping stopped as I remember another squeaky nag...

She's always thoughtful of me, of everything and everyone. That was her virtue, her beauty.

'Alright class, I want you guys to find a book of Shakespeare and give your overview on it. Don't have to read the entire book, maybe at least read the blurb and some pages and it will be a pair project'

Groans and murmurs, followed by chatter of who would pair with one another and the red-head shoulder nudge Bri's, nodding to himself and her to be a typical pairing just because they are a couple.

I scoffed, if she had the chance and he never interfered, she would pick me to be her partner as usual.

'I know you all might already have want to choose your own partners, but let's try switching it up, so I will choose your partners.'

Complaints and further groans and chances of a revolt might start as the teacher starts pairing people up.

'... and Bri you will be paired with... Felix'

The chatter and shifts of seats slowly came to a halt as Bri's cerulean eyes met mine, after a long time I forgot how her eyes remind of the blue sea. The beach, the sun and the breeze.

'Alright, sit with your partners and no changing. The project is due next week.'

I swallowed my breath as I nod to her and looked down to my table before managing to catch a piercing turquoise eyes glaring at me with hate.

Is this a coincidence? 

Or is it fate?

(well Felix, it is 'fate' not by god but by me, the writer ;)

* * *

'Denial of love is the same as admitting being in love'


	5. Awkward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He just found out he loves her. She already is in a relationship. Now they are in a project. How awkward can this get??

'That awkward silence between two people who may seem like strangers but were once something... something that was magical.'

* * *

**< Felix's POV>**

The flipping of pages filled the silence that stayed still in the air, tensions were low and stale. The air dry and musky, only the smell of books which reminds me of cedar and sweet, just like the taste of her fresh-baked macarons which was usually complemented with my morning coffee. 'Was', as I find none of those in my locker, and coffee only tasted bitter so far, as bitter as my life and just as bitter as the relationship we both hide, the feelings we put aside and the emotions we choose to hide.

My eyes linger back and forth from the words scattered across the pages as my mind danced between 

'...could ever hear by tale or history, the course of true love never did run smooth...'

and

'her cerulean blue eyes are blinking and fluttering as if she's trying to keep herself awake'

thoughts of her while reading a midsummer night's dream scrambled between each other and mixed in like flour and milk. 

No... Felix, she's already taken. You can't just... suddenly profess your love to her after being so obvious about your dislike and rejection and now you suddenly develop feelings for her?? 

She would think your daft and ignorant, selfish even and worst, a literal asshat for trying to steal her away from that red head Mr Kurtzberg. Not that I think he had a chance, and was quite surprise by his success.

Let's just continue with this hopeless romantic Lysander... pfft... love conquers all?

* * *

**< Bri's POV>**

...And yet, to say the truth, reason and love keep little company together nowadays.' 

Usually I would be interested in love stories, like Romeo and Juliet but a midsummer's night dream is a bit confusing, my eyes barely could try to stay awake. I remember times like this...

Everyday Felix would go to the library and stay there till night, his dad never bothered much about him and he always did love to read. I would follow him and kept my quiet because it's a library but his face when he reads is really the best, the way his eyes just followed every line of the words, while his mouth secretly mutter the words out in whisper and how his expressions changed depending on the scene. Usually his face is so nonchalant, but it isn't when he travels into the book world, filled with adventure and experiences he could never really have.

Just like everyone, he also wishes to live in the world of fiction. 

(You guys are..fiction though..)

My lips curled up behind the mask of the book, despite the relationship of us being broken and fading. I still... like being near him. He hasn't changed... his eyes still looked dreamy as in he was in a daze and his soul was lifted into another world the moment he read. The sound of the pages flipping, and the quiet tap of his fingers against the book hard cover. 

All the little things I observe of him, the perks and the quirks, are still there and I still...

No, Bri... you can't. Maybe I should change the view and get another book, just for a little breather and change of scenery.

I got up quietly, slowly without letting the chair scrape the floorboard because I would get kicked out by Ms. Bordeux. She's a sleeper but nothing gets by her ears so easily and not even a whiff of a book being taken out of the library without her say so.

I looked around and manage to catch a book that suited my eye, a dark red book with a hardcover and looked as if the material was velvet and just alluring. However as much as it was mysteriously beautiful, it was also so close yet so far up high than my fingers could reach.

My toes tiptoed as if I was a ballerina, reaching high above for the sky as my finger tips squirmed to try and touch the tip of the book and I tried but with no avail could until I see the book floating in the air, taken out my a hand taller than mine as I slowly turned my head to see the blonde hair and grayish eyes looked down to me and smiled.

This is the first... I've seen him smile, well mainly smiling at me... my cheeks felt hot and my breath slowed.

'Felix... what are you...'

'Bri... do you really love him like you love me?'

'What...? No.. I..'

'SHHHHHH'

The two of us were snapped out of trance that trapped us, as he bowed his head away from me and took the book and placed it in my hand before he returned to his seat. I looked at the wrinkled prune grumbled under her breath before resuming her nap and I stood there, book clasped between my chest and my hands.

What. Was. THAT.

* * *

'The awkwardness fades as love blossoms'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Thank you all for your support, I'm sorry this story doesn't have side chapters like Firsts, as I'm juggling school, exams and this. I'll be sure to post every week!


	6. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jealousy is toxic, sinful and most of all, humane.

“You can only be jealous of someone who has something you think you ought to have yourself.”  
― Margaret Atwood, The Handmaids Tale

* * *

**< Bri's POV>**

It can't be... right?

No.. it's just false hope again, I'm always like this... whenever he shows me even a speck of affection or what I believe it to be... it just ends up as false hope. 

Just like that time when it was raining, I knew he wouldn't lend me an umbrella, or even walk together but in the end he did, but that's because he was being kind. Felix is always kind... despite what people may think of him.

He isn't some rich kid, who's neglected by his father and has no mother, without a personality but to just study. Felix isn't that stereotype. In actuality, he's kind... and caring and strong-willed. He may not show it but if you've been around him more like how I am, you can see it as his walls break down more and more. 

However, I... can't be the one to stay... especially when staying with him, without any progress or actual chance of succeeding, I can't go through that again.

* * *

**< Felix's POV>**

BANG!

I clenched my fist as it met the face of the table and then proceed to grab strands of my hair...

Why did I do that?!

*remembering the scene where he asked Bri whether she loves Nathaniel as much as she loves him*

The weight of my forehead lays against my hand as I watched from behind, the spectacle and gossip of the school, the cutest couple - Bri and Nathaniel.

I scoffed. She would look much better with me than that red-head. I could treat her better, and be all couple-like.

Wait... what am I saying?

Me? 

A guy who has to act all sweetly in front of everyone and calls Bri, 'my lady' and bows to her?

Absurd. Not all relationships are like that... right?

Certainly Bri doesn't want that... does she?

I watched the entrance as the red-head, Mr Kurtzberg walks in, hand-in-hand with Bri. The grip on my pencil hardens as my eyes fixated on the two. Cold icy daggers would be striking Mr. Kurtzberg, if i had such power.

I would just make him disappear in thin air. 

POOF. 

Then, I can confess to Bri and she will say yes and we'd be-

Wait... will she even accept me? 

She will won't she... after all she still loves me.

A sigh exasperated out of my lips every time I see Mr. Kurtzberg being incredibly annoying and extra 'attentive' to Bri.

(Felix... your jealousy can't be MORE obvious)

DINGG

Class ends, and I see her and him. Together. Again as always. I remembered when...

Her smile used to be mine, as bright as the sun and her cheeks flushed pink everytime she saw me. Those were all only shown to me... but now she only shows it to him. 

No. I can't... i can't see her with him, together and laughing,smiling, hugging and kissing and I want those,that should be to me,not him

Suddenly my thoughts died as it did with the atmosphere, my soul broke back from the enclosed space of my thoughts as i looked to the wide cerulean eyes that looked back at me, my eyes drifted down to my hand where i grabbed her by the wrist as another pair of glaring turquoise eyes as well as a sea of eyes watches the clash between us three.

'Felix let go' the red head placed his hand on mine, reluctant to use force but will if he has to, eyes watched us like it was the scene of a drama where the female lead was caught between the two male leads

i bit my lip, this is my chance, i can't just let her go,not now and not when im so sure...just sure that she still...

Am i really sure? If she still did love me would she be dating him? I...

'Bri,don't go i li-

Before my words could finish she shooked off her hand from me with tears forming in her eyelids,she knew what i was going to say

'Dont finish that... dont you DARE finish that sentence.' her face was beet red, but not from the flushed feelings of a crush but from anger that boiled her blood.

'What gives you the right to be jealous now? Because you like me? Only now after you realized you lost me... Felix thats not love... you're just jealous of a possession being taken away from you, it's like when your favorite toy gets stolen.'

'You don't love me.'

'You never did'

A tear runs down her cheeks as she looks at me and walks away, followed by Mr. Kurtzberg dumbfounded and glared at me before he runs after Bri. The crowd slowly faded away as I stood there, my arm still stretched out from her flicking my hand off.

The realization hits her and i saw it. I could see all the struggle she bottled within herself as she questioned whether the love she had for me was worth it and she came to an answer. 

It wasnt.

She gave up.

She's done.

Just when I finally took the risk at love.

Im too late.

* * *

'The ones who stay are ones worth fighting for, the ones who comes and goes aren't.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok not gonna lie, this is probably the chapter i've been waiting to write. Hope y'all enjoy!


	7. Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes to solve a misunderstanding is to reveal ones true feelings

'We are all islands shouting lies to each other across seas of misunderstanding' - Rudyard Kipling.

* * *

**< Felix's POV>**

'You don't deserve love'

'Love is a fairytale you soon grow out of'

'You can never love nor be loved'

This wave of thoughts clashed and engulfed me as if I had been pushes back into the deep down. The dark blue consumes me and even the shred of light I see reflecting in, I am unable to reach for it.

Stiff as a rock, my hand felt heavy as if gravity and the deep were scheming together to keep me in and pull me in deeper and deeper into darkness. 

A fact is a man broke a record for diving about 1000 feet into the Red Sea. I wonder how deep will I fall further before I reach the flat bottom. Or maybe,there is no bottom at all, I'm just falling and falling as if I'm floating endlessly in outer space like how this sea is my black hole.

I remember being a child, of a household with no love. I may not be colour blind but my life had only seen grey, black and white. 

'Life is extraordinary'

'Life is full of joy and colours'

They say life and love are usually associated with one another. Without love, there is no life. Is that why I only see nothing but pain, anguish and sadness? The ones that were left behind by Love, the ones rejected by Love. 

Somehow, a miracle happened and gradually colours began to emerge from their shadows. I see it, those beautiful colours people always awed about.

Dark blue. Cerulean blue. Pink. Her.

I love her. 

And it's too late.

Unless...

* * *

**< Bri's POV>**

A deep long _sighhh_ escapes my lips as I held a staring contest with the ceiling. 

The trick to win is, to keep your eyes open as you flood your brain with thoughts on well... for me is Felix.

The one I always lo-, no, hat-, not that either... it's complicated. 

So complicated, I am speaking to myself.

< **Bold is for Demon Bri** , _Italic for Angel Bri >_

_I shouldn't have combusted like that should I? He was just-_

**Confess? Ha! He had his chance FOR SO LONG, we practically said we liked him a bijillion times while CHASING him!**

_But we know how hard it is for Felix to express his love, we should be considerate of that at least?_

**Considerate? WHEN was he ever considerate of our feelings? When he gave in to our whims? That is just pity. When he finally confess like we wanted? We were MOVING ON and that is just selfish.**

_It isn't pity, it's just..._

**What? Can't say it? It is because it is true. When he lend us the umbrella was because he pity us for not having one. He pitied us for crushing on the wrong person so he didn't dare to do anything like rejection which is SELFISH because he didn't think how chasing him would be painful too. He should not have the right to be jealous because it is too late, we are done degrading ourselves just to get him to like us.**

_You're WRONG! Love is a risk, and there is no time limit unless till deaths do you part,but even so if you are fated you will meet in the next life! It was obvious for us to be sad when someone we like rejects us and we keep getting hopes once they do something in favour BUT those are the moments we enjoy, the moment we yearned and even if it is false or not, the happiness from loving him was the best!_

_He wasn't doing it out of pity, he didn't know why we love him of all people, he believed he had no self-worth but we still love him because we see how worth of love he is and how he IS CAPABLE OF LOVE, those walls were slowly being broken down but we were sidetrack into a bigger mess!_

_I'd rather think of what to bake for Felix for his morning coffee or what presents to give him on the holidays, or how to stay awake as we stay up late in the library or rather or not to bring an umbrella in hopes he lends his umbrella again. I don't want to think the consequence of loving him, because I love him more than the fear of being rejected by him._

* * *

**< Narrator's POV>**

The debate in Bri's head to a halt as-

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

The door that led to the balcony was talking as if someome was behind it. There was no way someone could have climb up? Bri had thought, after all the balcony was quite high.

She made her way to open the door and she saw him. The motion of her debate.

For or against? 

Accepting Felix to her heart.

Will he be the one to end this debate?

'Felix... how.. um sorry it must be freezing outside, come in'

The blonde rushes in quite quick and silently, as if sneaking into a girl's room at a full moon's peak wasn't enough to give him a bad rep, but especially after the commotion in the school. No one would believe she would allow him near her within a five-mile radius. However, knowing her, he knew she wouldn't leave him in the cold like that.

'Bri, please let me explain, or at least let me te-'

'Okay.'

Bri sits on her chair as she softly smiles but at the same she avoid his gaze, whether it be embarassed that he saw her nighties but also that she was thinking of him, so speak of the devil.

'I'm sorry. I know that it was selfish of me to confess when you are clearly in a relationship, but...

'I can't lose you. Not to him. Not to anyone because I love you and I know it is selfish but love is selfish anf I want you, I miss all our moments and I want more than that, I want to feel love and express love, but that can only happen when I am with you. So please... if you still love me, give me a chance. If not... i-'

Before Felix could dare say those last sentences, Bri's hand rested on his cheek before she pulled him into a kiss, as her cheeks were streaked with tears and blushed with red. Felix's eyes shocked but settled into the mood as he kissed her back. Their lips touched, soft and smooth and as passionate as if they were waiting for this moment.

'I love you too Felix'

'I love you the most, Bri'

'I can finally breathe' Felix mutters as he looks sweetly into the cerulean blue eyes. He finally sought the light that gravity and the water kept pulling him away from.

Bri tilts her head in a slight confusion before the two giggled as their foreheads pressed against each other and a smile grew on each others lips.

They knew, they found Love.

* * *

'Love and communication is key, always rmember that.'

**Author's Note:**

> *Obsessively plays What is Love by Twice*  
> I am back people, with a new story and one which is close to my heart so I hope as much love as I have received for Firsts, I hope to achieve the same with this story. Thank you for your support and please continue to support me in the future! Also, I know I mixed the two different versions of ML with the actual characters with the PV ones, but it is for the story.


End file.
